I'm a middle age guy.
And like many middle age guys, I'm a little crazy and passing through some form of a mid-life crisis.
I can recall as a young man watching the movie City Slickers
which chronicles the misadventures of a
group of middle age men facing and overcoming their mid life crises by
embarking on a cattle drive vacation. Their
crises varied from meaningless jobs to sexless marriages, and each experiences
an epiphany of that “one thing” that helps them to discover the identity and
energy that they have been searching for to carry them through this phase of
their lives.
That was over 20 years ago and I was in my late 20’s; I laughed a lot at the movie, but couldn’t really relate with the characters.
Now I’m one of those middle age guys. And now I can relate.
Wikepedia defines middle age as “the period of age beyond
young adulthood but before the onset of old age”. In other words, the years between leaving the
nest and leaving this world.
Read on in Wikepedia and you will learn that middle aged
adults will often show signs of aging such as graying of hair, increase in body
fat and decrease in strength and flexibility, not to mention a growing
probability of acquiring a myriad of aches and ailments.
No wonder with middle age is associated with the mid-life
crisis.And that’s just where I am now.
I love my wife – we’ve been married for a couple of decades
now. We have wonderful healthy children
whom we have spoiled and laden with gadgets, good ethics and probably a few too
many bad habits. Our house is usually
messy, but nice. My dog greets me when I
come home from work. There is usually
cold beer in my fridge and I’ve been to Disney World…a few times. I eat pizza and wings too often and don’t
exercise enough. I have a good and
interesting job and earn a decent living, but work too much and don’t always
enjoy it. I have my share of stresses, but all in all I’m living “the dream”.
Notwithstanding bellies and balding, the real struggle of
these years is figuring out what all this really means , more so how we can
find meaning amidst a good but perhaps all too familiar life and lifestyle.
Enter adventure.
I remember taking a long walk, or maybe it was a long nap,
during which I was contemplating how exactly I might move beyond my middle age
malaise and revitalize the passion and purpose of my youth. Admittedly, notions of flashy sports cars and
girlfriends may have entered my imagination, but with the financial realities
of a mortgage and education funds, and the comfort of a genuine love for my
life partner, I was in need of a more practical but nonetheless enticing and
distinctive alternative. I needed an
adventure. One that fit both my budget
and physique but at the same time that would take me out of my comfort zone, be
exciting and meaningful and that would create one heck of a story for me and the
kids to tell. A tall order for a middle
age out of shape guy? Maybe not.
My decision. Climb a mountain. A big one.
In fact, the biggest in Africa – Mount Kiliminjaro.
“It’s cheaper than a sports car or girlfriend”, was my
wife’s response, and after confirming that my life insurance would not be
voided by the journey, I had her blessing and a plane ticket to Tanzania.
And on my 47th birthday, on September 21, 2010,
as the glowing African sun crept over the horizon, I arrived on the summit of
the mighty Kilimanjaro nearly 6 km above the sea and celebrated the achievement
of a life defining adventure. Yes, this
5’7”, 200 pound, pencil pushing, never-did-anything athletic middle age guy
made it to the top of Africa.
My point isn't that the only answer to a middle age crisis is to climb a mountain, although for some it may be. Its more
so about finding that “one thing” that the City Slickers discovered on the
cattle drive. It’s about finding energy
and meaning through adventure, however you define adventure.
An adventure takes you beyond your ordinary and outside of
your comfort zone. Adventures both
challenge and grow your capabilities.
Adventures can both define and shape your life and life story.
Each of us will define adventure in their own unique
way. For some, this may be a journey or
experience, like climbing a mystical mountain.
Others may find adventure in the form of an accomplishment or a
breakthrough.
My premise is that adventure is the new antidote to the mid-life crisis.
Apologies to the sports car salesmen...
Follow me in the weeks and months ahead for more insights on how others are surviving middle age through adventure, and how you too might experience the same benefits.
And by all means, if you have a story, please share it with me at jaehrlingssm@gmail.com
Off we go into the wild blue yonder....
Cheers! Norm
